So this is happening in our office today….
The old painting is Dogs Playing Poker. Our office is doing Dogs Playing Boardroom”

So this is happening in our office today….

The old painting is Dogs Playing Poker. Our office is doing Dogs Playing Boardroom”

The Best Piece of Snail Mail I’ve Received in a Long Time

"Dear Mark,

Our office has conducted an audit of your account and determined that you have overpaid us and are due a refund. We are enclosing a check to you for $477.24.”

Welllll, thank fuckin’ you!!!!!! I had no idea!! This is from my oncologist, and I only see them once I year for annual Make Sure Everything is Still Good, and I can’t tell you the last time I paid them any money besides a visit co-pay. This has to be at least 3 years! Probably more like 6 or 7, from back when I was dealing with all that shit.

FUCK YEAH! I miss these!

FUCK YEAH! I miss these!

A Few Tuesday Bullets

  • I’ve been staying up way too late this week. Like 3 to 4am. I’m usually on a vampire schedule anyway, but i need to stop this
  • There’s a guy in our office building that’s a shy bathroomer. If he walks into the bathroom while someone else is in there, he turns around and leaves and goes to the one the other floor. if someone’s in there, he goes back to his office. If I see him walk by our suite and go into the bathroom, and stay, i like to be a dick and wait enough time for him to start then I walk in and probably give him major anxiety
  • I accidently killed a gecko the other night. I felt horrible. It was on our stoop and I didn’t see it. Went to let the dog out, took a step, and felt something squish and splatter. Looked down and saw it. I still feel bad. I don’t mind killing scorpions and spiders and other bugs, but I like geckos. I apologized to the little corpse
  •  I need to figure out a way to pay down our credit card a little faster. It was paid off completely, then life happened and now it’s at more than I’m comfortable with.
  • That’s all for now. Party on.

Not even kidding

Today, on the day of record setting rainfall in Phoenix (which stopped at around 11am), my coworker got home from work and found his genius neighbor outside watering the plants….

Reblog and heart/star/like this if you’d like to add a +1 to the number of bitchslaps we’re giving the neighbor later on.