You know what we should make?
A dating site for all the single socks in the drawer. One sock always vanishes to who knows where, and the mismatched ones are sitting around now, unused and doing nothing.
So howbout FootBook, or NoMatch.com or something? Socks can post their profiles and find a new sock solemate.
These are the idiotic things I think of in the shower. This one would have been a snicker and move on until I started imagining the profile pictures. Like, athletic socks showing their abs, or ‘Hoes with bright red lipstick doing duck-face (duck-heal?) in a mirror.
Then I started imagining that FootBook would have profile pictures that were of little baby socks, or a sock all ripped up after a long day of hiking.
Anyway, Im gonna go get some coffee now.
The Best Piece of Snail Mail I’ve Received in a Long Time
Our office has conducted an audit of your account and determined that you have overpaid us and are due a refund. We are enclosing a check to you for $477.24.”
Welllll, thank fuckin’ you!!!!!! I had no idea!! This is from my oncologist, and I only see them once I year for annual Make Sure Everything is Still Good, and I can’t tell you the last time I paid them any money besides a visit co-pay. This has to be at least 3 years! Probably more like 6 or 7, from back when I was dealing with all that shit.