The Proper Way to Cook Food in the Microwave
- Remove meal from box
- Read instructions
- Throw box away
- Cook for the 1st segment, per instructions
- Remove from microwave, stir food, put back in microwave, per instructions
- Grab box out of the trash to re-read how long the next step cooks for because you’ve forgotten already
- Throw box away again
- Cook for remainder of time
- Pull box out of trash again to see how long food needs to stand for so that you don’t burn your mouth
- Let stand for additional time than the instructions called for
- Still burn the fuck out of your mouth anyway
- Try to comply with instructions that say “Enjoy!” but find that step impossible to complete
Too close for comfort
On our way out to California yesterday, we got stuck in accident traffic. We literally had to stop suddenly (no slowing for a few miles first) and never moved an inch again for an hour and a half.
We saw all the emergency vehicles go by while we were stopped, meaning the accident had just happened.
When we finally moved again, it took almost no time until we were on the scene, and saw the 3 mangled cars. One was a rollover.
News reports today state that roads were open after a crash, stating the accident occurred at milepost 72. I can’t remember specifically now, but we were either just past 73 or just about to pass 73 when we stopped. I.e., we were really fucking close, and could have easily been involved.